Working with children can be extremely rewarding and fulfilling for both parents and educators. AIS-R has made a strong commitment to developing and maintaining a partnership with parents to help ensure success for all students. Our common goal must be to provide our students a quality education that develops their unique skills and talents to the fullest. As students enter the middle school years there can be additional challenges and complications that may take our focus off of the goals that have been set. Only when we begin to understand the adolescent child can we truly help them to stay on the path to success. The tremendous changes that occur during adolescence help to shape students as they become young adults.

These changes can affect everything from physical appearance to personality traits and it can
often be a frustrating and confusing time for the students as well as the parents. The following
excerpt is from a recent article from, The Middle School Educational News.

“Parents better be ready for change when their child enters the early adolescence years, but
it's natural change,” said Sue Swaim, executive director, National Middle School Association,
the nation's only educational group focusing specifically on the needs of 10 to 15 year-olds.
“This timeframe has been called the second most important period in a person's development,
and it's when children are experiencing tremendous emotional, behavioral, physical and
intellectual changes. That's why parents must be there to support and encourage their young
adolescent.”

So what can a parent do to be supportive and nurturing while still instilling good habits? The
first suggestion would be to stay informed. Check Skyward and Moodle regularly, attend
events at school, ask questions, develop a relationship with the teachers and take an interest in
any extra-curricular activities that your son or daughter may be involved in. The National
Middle School Association recommends that parents consider five action steps to help their
students:

-Think ahead. One of our best tools as parents is being prepared. As your son or daughter enters the middle school years, get ready for at least occasional conflicts. Think through what is truly important to you, and focus your energy on those big issues.

-If the issue is minor, keep things light. Call attention to them in a light way, so your middle-schooler knows you want action but you aren't being punitive. "Either the cat's smarter than I thought or you left the milk carton open on the counter. One of you please put it back before it spoils."

-Don't use power unless it's urgent. Parents have the ultimate power, and kids know it. We don't have to "prove" it to them at every turn. Save your strength for those really important issues you've decided are non-negotiable.

-Encourage your middle schooler to keep a daily "to-do" list. Stick with daily; weekly is too much. Put a few things on the list that need to be done that day. It may be necessary to assign a specific time to each task. When it's completed, draw a line through the task to show accomplishment. This strategy will help young adolescents learn responsibility and planning.

-Break down big chores into smaller parts. Sometimes young people feel overwhelmed by tasks and give up rather than getting started. If there are 12 overdue school assignments, focus on one Thursday night, another on Friday, and five during the weekend.

There is no universal set of instructions or manual on what to do with a child during adolescence that will work for all students. However, following some of these simple strategies while understanding that each child has a different and complex set of challenges will help everyone reach their potential. As a middle school counselor the three words I use most when speaking to
parents about how best to deal with their child are; patience, consistency, and communication.

Tom Leonas
Middle School Counselor